Knitted handbag-Trial, error, and success

This knitted bag was suppose to be a big circle shape with 2 circle pieces that would be sewed together and I mistakenly over-increased and it had these 2 boobie shapes. So I played around with it for awhile and realized it could work as 1 piece in this shape above. Can't believe my mistake turned into such a cool piece. AND I figured out how to knit onto the handles.. it was more of a crochet technique I think.

I'm trying to decide if I want to pin the top edges in to make it this shape. I also want to add a lining and an interior pocket. I need to find a pretty silky like fabric.. and then figure out how to sew. Trial and error eventually lead to success.

Flop

Ha! This is the funniest thing I have knitted. I was trying for a soft Cowl that could be used like a scarf to keep the neck warm.. you know like those droopy cowls that are usually attached to sweaters. 

I don't know what happened.. I think I just knitted it too tight. I might try again with a larger needle and thinner yarn. It just doesn't drape right. 

Matt and I had alot of fun figuring out different uses for it. Hee hee, still laughing.. 

Redemption

I'm a stress eater, a bored eater, you name it. I emotionally eat. And lately I have been super stressed worrying about the longevity of my job. The kind of worrying that feels like an earthquake is coming.. and I want comfort food!

The last couple of days have suddenly become the most difficult in this whole time of living veg. I feel so incredibly guilty for even having the thought.. so softly in my head.. the thought of eating a Chic-Fil-a sandwich. And then the whispered thought gets louder, like seriously I want a ....! At this moment I'm typing this I still can't believe I even struggled with that thought and its gross to me.. at this moment. Sitting by the fire, listening to some new music Matt got - "For Tet"- I'm not stressed at this moment and can think clearly. 

Why is it Chic-fil-a? Why am I admitting that thought to anyone? The first time I faced this temptation Matt talked me out of it.. This time I made it all the way into the drive-thru line and then ordered a salad no meat, no cheese and a side of waffle fries. I was proud that I conquered that temptation, but then at dinner that night with Matt I actually ordered fish tacos AND ate 1. I don't know what to think about it. The taste definitely was not worth it. Why do fish not hold a place in my heart? Do I have a compassionate preference for mammals over birds and fish? Maybe.

I thought giving in that once would put the end to it, but then this morning I woke up with the craving for Chic-Fil-a breakfast sandwiches. What's wrong with me? I think Chic-Fil-a needs to market their spices so I can fry some tofu or seitan and be done with it.

Today was a whirlwind of vegan doubt, and my mind was blank for why I was doing this, could I really do this forever? .. AND THEN...

I checked the mail! I opened my blood lab work results and was completely shocked! All of my levels are now NORMAL! OMG! I know this doesn't mean much to you who are reading this right now. But to me it means the world. It means the chance to have children naturally with no need for drugs. It means my diet really has cured my PCOS. A year ago my levels were all over the place and out of all the normal limits. And today I know why I am doing what I am doing. 

Today I have new meaning behind my commitment.

Yeah!

thoughts on traveling

They say you only live once, but how do you balance life enjoyment with life responsibilities?

I LOVE to travel, but really have not experienced much. When I have the money I don't have the time and when I have the time I don't have the money. Isn't that how it always is?

Matt and I want to do alot of traveling before we have kids, but I really don't know how to make it happen. First off, I can't even take a day off at my job without having to work overtime the day before or after to keep up. I can't imagine ever taking a week off... And we've always had to work around Matt's semester schedule.. I had this problem at my last job as well when I tried to schedule my honeymoon in the winter between semesters but my job would not allow it. So instead Matt failed his classes that semester we got married.. Its just really impossible to take a week and a half off in studio courses. We loved our honeymoon and it was so worth it. But even then we didn't pay for that trip..so how do you save up?

We want to go 1) skiing in Colorado 2) to London 3) Canada 4) I want to go somewhere in the Carribean 5) Italy 6) actually pretty much all of Europe

I started a Savings account with SmartyPig.com (which is how we saved for our house) and set it to save $25/month (LOL), but with the thought that I would add to it whenever we have extra cash. I guess we haven't had any. 

So now Matt is graduating and I have always wanted to reward him with us going to Europe or at least on a ski trip. There is just no way. Unless something changes our budget will always be tight, my job will always be too stressful to take time off, and I feel like we should pay off loans before we start saving up for unnecessary vacations. 

Thinking back to "vacationers"--isn't the typical traveler the older, retired couple or the young singles? Did we miss our time? For how long and how much do you have to sacrifice and juggle around just to enjoy 1 week in your life? 

Cruelty-Free Hair Care

Loreal now has a new line of hair care products that are 100% vegan and cruelty-free. 

Yesterday, I purchased the Smooth Shampoo, Smooth Conditioner and the small tub that is a deep conditioning mask.

They are amazing!

The shampoo was incredibly frothy and foamed up more than every shampoo I own. The deep conditioner made my hair soft and silky. Finally, hair care that does what it is supposed to! This was a real exciting find. 

So here is the delimma. I started researching Loreal and they do animal testing in almost all their other lines of product. So by purchasing the EverPure line I am indirectly contributing to the testing of animals. OR should I think of it as by purchasing these products I am proving to Loreal that there is a market for cruelty-free, vegan products. Hopefully they will make the switch in more of their product lines.

My hair feels so good!

Next Phase- Products

According to Wikipedia (my reference for everything) the definition of a Vegan is=

"Veganism is a diet and lifestyle that seeks to exclude the use of animals for food, clothing, or any other purpose.^[1][2] Vegans endeavor not to use or consume animal products of any kind.^[3] The most common reasons for becoming a vegan are ethical commitment or moral conviction concerning animal rights orwelfare, the environment, human health, and spiritual or religious concerns.^[2][4][5] Of particular concern to many vegans are the practices involved in factory farming and animal testing, and the intensive use of land and other resources for animal farming."

I feel pretty comfortable now with the diet aspect. I have finally got the balance down of eating carbs-protein-fruits-veggies. Real quickly I discovered how easy it was to eat just yummy carb snacks. The whole point is to be healthy though, so I've really focused on getting enough fruits and veggies, and take my vitamins. Why are they so BIG! 

I feel ready now to take on the next challenge of purging out all PRODUCTS that contribute to animal suffering or contain toxins. After seeing the video "Earthlings" it is undeniable that the clothing and beauty industries greatly attribute to animal suffering. And why be a part of it if you don't have to be?

Here is a list of the items I want to find a replacement for:

• Yarn- no wool or silk, choose cotton, bamboo, hemp, soy silk, banana silk

• Soap

• Shampoo/Conditioner- try Alba, Giovanni, 365, Jason

• Face Wash- Origins

• Moisturizer- try Kiss my Face, Origins

• Foundation- I've used the same foundation for the last 13 years, so this will be a tough one.

• Chapstick- try Alba

• mascara- try Beauty without Cruelty or Lush

• eye liner- try Arbonne or Origins

• sunscreen- try Arbonne or Origins

• deodorant- 365

• Clothing- I actually don't own any leather clothes and only itchy wool sweater that I will just donate.

• Shoes- This is a tough one.. I went shoe shopping awhile back and could not find what the shoes are made of. There is no "ingredient list" and I keep thinking it could be really good pleather, or some kind of plastic, or maybe it is leather.. I don't know. So I haven't bought a new pair of shoes in 6 months and it is time to figure this out. I'm in desperate need of some black low heels for work. I may just order these online from a vegan site just to be sure.

I already switched my toothpaste to Toms and I finally found a flavor I like. I am probably going to focus on a few products at a time so I don't spend too much money at one time. Let me know if you have any vegan products that you love. 

These are a few brands I want to try: Whole Foods brand, Kiss my Face, Beauty without Cruelty, Jason shampoos, Avalon, Alba, Giovanni shampoos, Lush makeup, Origins, Arbonne makeup. Walmart carries a few brands as well as Kroger, Whole Foods, Central Market, and Sprouts.

I hope to meet this goal by the end of the next 6 months. That seems doable to me. It will be fun trying new stuff! These are the kind of things I don't usually let myself spend alot of money on so it will be interesting balancing frugality with quality. I hope that I will find some great substitutes and maybe even some better ones! I'll make sure to share my faves.

The Details

Half a year! I've been on a vegan diet for half a year. Woohoo! 

It's so 2nd nature to me that I don't have to worry or think about it much now. I have pretty much perfected avoiding animal products in food. And then today, I fell into a non vegan situation. I was cooking my lunchtime soup in the kitchen with my coworker when I noticed that this particular soup had egg in the pasta. Normally, I would have just thrown it out and gone to get something else.. but I haven't admitted my veganism to my coworkers, so I had no reason to do so.. I was trapped. So here I am holding this bowl of soup and getting grossed out at the thought of chicken reproductive products in my soup.... and I went back to my desk and ate around the pasta in the soup. 

I'm not going to beat myself up about it, but I need to come clean at work, for my own sake. And I hope it will be soon.. but then I think is it really worth it? It's such a personal decision in my life I don't feel like being confronted about it when I can't argue back. 

So its the details that get me, every time. Like the Morning Star Farms corny dogs that I thought for sure were vegan and blogged about them. How embarrassing! And then I missed the note about eggs in the Quorn brand mock meats too. And there was that time that I had jello, another time I had honey, and probably some times when I thought for sure it was vegan and it wasn't. 

It's not about being perfect. It's about filtering out the unnecessary suffering, the unhealthy, and the disease causing waste in my life. I'm also trying to avoid high fructose corn syrup, aspartame, caffeine, and other toxins.

However, I do feel that once you make allowances for yourself then those allowances start to grow and take over. Isn't that how all diets fail? So perfection is what I strive for but the ultimate goal is to do the best I can to be healthy, to be cruelty-free, and to be good about every decision I make in life.  If that is my goal and Im doing my best then I am happy with myself. 

Surviving Thanksgiving

Yeah! I made it through Thanksgiving without seeing any dead Turkeys on the table. 

We had 3 consecutive Thanksgiving lunches, 1 for each family. The first Thanksgiving was at Matt's grandparents' and we did a Mexican theme. Mostly because its just too much work to do the traditional food and travel with it to their house. This Thanksgiving meal was one of the sad ones. Matt's grandfather is getting older and has Alzheimer's and may be going to a home soon. It was great bonding time though and Matt had an amazing breakthrough with his grandpa. Grandpa Curly said to Matt "I like what you're doing with your life. Let er' rip!" What an amazing moment it was and I'm so glad we were there for Matt to experience it.  

So for the Mexican feast I cooked Black Bean enchiladas with green chili sauce. They were the best ever. I used black beans, refried beans, onions, red peppers, and garlic. Matt's mom made Vegan chili!!! OMG how awesome! Oh and Vegan Brownies. I felt so spoiled. 

2nd Thanksgiving lunch was easy. We met my parents, brothers, and grandparents for lunch at Olive Garden. I had the Spaghetti Pomodoro. I think I have actually figured out how to make it better than the restaurant. It's all about using fresh herbs and the best olive oil. 

3rd Thanksgiving was at my house with my dad's side of the family. We did an Italian themed potluck style family meal. It was beautiful. Matt and I were way behind on getting everything ready so my parents and brother stepped in and we all were cooking Hell's Kitchen-style (minus the yelling). We made Spaghetti and homemade pizzas. I made a cheese-less pizza with olives, red onions, mushrooms & red peppers. 

So all that and I only had 1 emotional break down. I was at Kroger trying to buy meatballs for everyone else to eat with the Spaghetti. I was standing there with all the different varieties of ground up cow meat and I was about to reach and grab a package and got instantly repulsed. I got hot and dizzy and had to run off to an aisle to hide in as my eyes filled with tears. I never thought I'd be at this place in my life. I never ever expected to feel this connection and anguish over animals I've never seen. I never knew what I did not know.. and ignorance is bliss. or is it?

I feel good about my commitment, but moreover this change is something I can't undo. This Thanksgiving showed me that I am so blessed to be loved and respected in all my families, even if I am eating something different from everyone else.

Another Baby hat

Here is a baby hat I worked on last week for my friend Cristina. I think it needs something, maybe a flower or butterfly. I tried making little eyelets, but it looks kind of messy. The darker pink isn't as soft as I'd like for a baby hat, so I may add a silky lining. 

I've already started another baby hat for my friend Deepa. Hopefully it will turn out cute.

I'll pass on the PCOS

A year ago a doctor finally diagnosed me with PCOS. 

At that time I had quit the pill and gone 6 months without a period, (and no migraines). It was such a relief to finally have a name to what was going on and to have answers to symptoms I had dealt with as a teenager too. When I was 17-19, about every other month I would have sudden piercing pain on my lower right side below my belly button.. I would vomit for a full day, hyperventilating and not be able to leave the bathroom. After SEVERAL tests, drinking Barium and such, my gyno at the time had told me that I had cysts that were rupturing and it was completely normal in runners. His answer was to put me on the pill. Migraines begin.

Fast forward to last year, a new gyno verifies that what I have is called PCOS and that I do have cysts, lots of them. Her answer is to put me on the pill. Migraines begin again.

6 months ago I took myself off the pill again. Ironically it was about 6 months ago that I also began my vegan diet. This time I feel so much better.. I have a normal cycle, no vomiting & a decrease in migraine strength. 

So the other day I'm telling my mom that I think I cured my PCOS and she's like "Ya, it says online that PCOS sufferers should avoid eating beef & cheese, and increase eating fruits & vegetables, etc." Like DUH! Did I instinctually know this?

Anyway, feeling good.. but going to schedule a checkup to make sure I'm cysts free. What a miracle this would be.

The Seed of Knowledge

I've been doing alot of self-reflection and even overcame a vegan breakdown. 

I was dealing with a very stressful week and the resignation of my favorite co-worker and the need for "comfort food" hit hard. My mind frantically could not think of anything vegan I could eat that would fix the distress I was in. As soon as the thought of just breaking down and eating a Chic-Fil-A sandwich popped into my mind, I called Matt and told him what I was contemplating. Any my meat-eating, bar-b-q-ing husband listened, and encouraged me to stick to my decision and reminded me how much I would regret that break down. And it worked! I immediately drove somewhere else, ate a healthy lunch, and returned to work a little less stressed after communicating with Matt all of my frustrations.. In fact, I'm sure I felt less stressed than if I had used food for comfort. 

I'm deeply embarrassed to even admit that I had that struggle because for the most part I have had deep resolve to stay with this vegan lifestyle. But, I do think its important to share my weaknesses and my struggles. I feel stronger now for overcoming that moment.

And so I've done alot of looking back at what brought me to today, to this positive change. Why am I doing this? What truths can I hold onto for future support? What seed was planted that truly encouraged this growth?

I've known a handful of vegetarians and vegans throughout my life, but I never truly understood why they were doing it. I heard there reasoning, but it never really sunk in. Or I never let it sink in. I'm sure I was very closed to hearing the truth. So looking back there is 1 defining moment that opened the door. The moment that started this growth was when I first saw the "Meet your Meat" video by Peta. I could barely watch it and was truly disgusted. I remember I didn't eat meat for about 3 days and I cut back on eating pork drastically. Through that video I felt intense compassion for the suffering of the baby piglets.. They undergo castration with no pain medication. (Men literally pull their testicles off) It's disgusting, and with their peachy skin and chubby legs, it's very difficult not to make the connection with human babies. No doubt it has got to be excrutiating pain

That was about a year ago. And I was able to push back everything I had seen until I read the "Skinny Bitch" book. I think now, that hearing a logical and healthy reason to quit eating meat was just that extra reason I needed to make such a huge change.

I think it's important to share this information. I had to let it sink in that ALL animals have the ability to FEEL PAIN. I also know now that the footage does not just reflect one time offenses, but is the EVERYDAY process that these large factories use. (Even the "free-range" & "organic" varieties) It's tough to watch and I still have to take breaks while watching it. 

Beyond the suffering standpoint, I think its disgusting that these sick and often dead animals are still processed for eating. No wonder we have recalls and diseases spread from eating animals, meat essentially is the dead carcasses of sick animals. Because of the destructive environment these animals grow up in they are treated with large doses of antibiotics to try to keep them from getting too sick and we then consume those same antibiotics, toxins, pesticides, etc.

(Recommend watching this alone at home)

Meet your Meat Video:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2273569508770398194#

Health Goal for the Week- Get Well!

A week and a half ago I posted my first nutritional goal - EAT 2 FRUITS a day. I was doing pretty good with the goal until I got sick.

And Sickness decided to stay with me for a week and we're still discussing Sickness's departure. "Go Away!", I say. Yesterday Matt woke me up (11am) with Breakfast in Bed. It was a fun breakfast for a sick vegan girl. (Glass of water, glass of soy chocolate milk, glass of Emergen-C vitamin drink, fruit plate with sliced bananas, apples, and green grapes & a whole wheat bagel) 

I ate everything! And then I went back to sleep till 2pm. 

Overall, I am overwhelmed. I have been making myself get up and work for as long as I can. And then I'll have spurts where I feel like I'm finally well and I'll give in to Spencer dog's plea to go out for a walk. I just walked him around the block and Im back to coughing again. 

I really can't afford to be sick another week. I've been coughing all through the night and Matt is sleeping on the couch. I've been behind at work.. and don't even ask about laundry. All this, while Matt is in his hardest and last semester of college. Days away from his art installation at the Dallas Museum of Art. I need to get well!

So my goal for this week is TO GET WELL. Eat oranges, drink more Emergen-C, take some Echinacea, drink more water, don't exercise, sleep alot.

meat or not to meat

Honestly, I've been struggling lately. Not with physically wanting to eat meat, but just with being different.. It is mentally hard to hold this stance. My mind wants to go back to the easy days where I could enjoy the same meal as my husband, or go to any restaurant with my family, or just enjoy the simplicity of being 'normal'. 

Convenience, simplicity, ease of mind. 

I can feel the disgust fading some, and it is easier to not think about meat in that way. 

I have heard vegans use slavery and the holocaust as a metaphor for the plight of these animals, and that has really stayed with me. I try to remember the scope & reality of what I am up against. And this is what grounds me. The massive number of animals that are enslaved from birth to live a cruelly short & painful life. The reality is too painful to think about, too painful to remember. 

I didn't begin my vegan journey for the rights of these animals. I thought I could shed a few pounds and was disgusted with the pesticide & toxic levels of animal products. I thought I could probably avoid meat & dairy forever just knowing how "infected" it might be. But those reasons have not held me steady. 

It is the knowledge of the suffering that holds me committed. The image of a scared calf being pulled by his tail from the veal crate. How is he any different than my dog? 

We think it is so crazy that people in China often eat cats and dogs. Does a cow, chicken or pig not feel pain? Do they not suffer?

It is with a heavy heart that I realize that I have opened the door to the truth and I am stuck with that knowledge. And not just the knowledge of the suffering of farm animals. I have opened the door to compassion and the desire to know what is going on in the world. And the truth is overwhelmingly depressing.

Coupons Work!

Yeah! I'm so excited! I finally figured out the whole coupon thing for buying groceries. I just saved $19.73 and ended with just a $50 grocery bill for the week. (This coming from the girl that has rung up $150 bills quite frequently.)

I researched on www.moneysavingmom.com and www.frugaldad.com and some other sites I have already forgotten. Here is what I found & learned:

1. You can load digital coupons onto your grocery shopping card! 

(ie Kroger, Tom Thumb, etc) - I used Cellfire and Shortcuts. Cellfire even has an iphone app that makes it easy to load digital coupons while you're in the store. I love this because I can't lose them. Even better, these digital coupons currently work in conjunction with physical coupons. That means you can end up getting some items for free. 

2. Cut/Grab/Share/Print all the Coupons you can use- 

Once I started looking I noticed coupons everywhere. The gas station had a stack of old newspapers and they let me take the coupon inserts for free. I think I may be able to convince some friends to start a coupon swap with me. And of course there are tons online to print as well... I'm just a little wary of overusing ink/paper.

3. Use a binder to organize them- 

INSTRUCTIONS HERE

This method works really well. I made mine in under and hour. Use baseball card collector size inserts for the coupons and dividers for each category. This will allow you to quickly flip through and find the type of coupon you need. 

4. Strategize-

So I read that the trick to really saving alot is to time using the manufactured coupon while your store is having a sale. www.moneysavingmom.com is awesome for spelling out the best deals and how to get them. 

These are 2 of the deals I got that seemed good to me. 

Pillsbury Crescent Rolls

Kroger sale 3 for $5  makes them $1.67 each

Minus 50¢ coupon that got doubled 

= $1.33 each when they are normally $2.28

Birds Eye Steam Fresh frozen veggies

$1.89 - .39 Kroger Sale

- $1 Coupon

= 50¢ for the bag

5. Stock up when the price is right-

I've been using a grocery app on my iphone called Grocery Gadget. It has truly changed my life. I keep track of what items cost at each store so I know where to stock up on spaghetti sauce (Costco) where to buy the best and cheapest produce (Kroger) and which stores have the best Vegan products (Whole Foods). Matt and I can even shop at the same time at 2 different stores and just move an item to the other person's list if we see it is cheaper there. I love the digital life! I don't even have to ask what he needs from the store because he adds it to the list on his own. 

I am actually upset with Costco right now bc I could not find the Prego Spaghetti sauces. They usually have 2 very large Prego spaghetti sauce bottles for $4.64. We can get about 6 servings per bottle. I checked Kroger and a bottle half that size cost around $3.50. So I guess I'll have to wait till I have a coupon. (Prego is 1 of those accidentally vegan foods, thank God too!)

6. Don't stray from the plan-

I am so guilty of just throwing random things into my cart. If I don't make a meal plan then I end up with half the ingredients needed for about 12 different recipes. 

7. Contact favorite brands-

Being vegan it is difficult to find alot of discounts for vegan food items. So for these, I will need to really hunt them down. I'm going to go through the same channels first- websites, veggie blogs, veggie magazines... then when all else fails I am going to contact them to ask for coupons.

(Uncle Eddie's cookies, Galaxy Foods- soy cheeses, Earth Balance- butter, etc)

8. My thoughts on Bulk buying-

I've really had mixed feelings about bulk buying at Costco & other warehouse clubs. But now that I have been comparing items down to the per ounce cost, it really is cheaper. But I think these tips can help really get your money's worth. 

• Share the membership- My mom & grandma share a membership cutting the yearly cost in half. 

• For non-perishables- wait till you have a coupon

• Stick to a list (a small list) of items you are positive that you will actually use. 

• Avoid the gimmicks, junk food, frozen appetizers & special offers.

• Don't go down the middle aisles (clothing, etc) unless there is a specific item on your list.

• Make sure they have items you will use on a regular basis before you join.. I go every month to stock up, so I feel it is money well spent, or at least better spent than my gym membership.

Health Goal Of the Week

I decided I am going to aim for adding a new positive health habit per week. I have to admit I am completely influenced by the book "Small Changes, Big Results." For the most part I feel like I know what I need to do to be healthier, but struggle to make a habit of it. 

Week 1:

Eat 2 Fruits every Day!

 It's already Wednesday, so I guess this week will be easier. ;-)

PS. This is the season to buy pomegranates. You can freeze the seeds for easy on the go snacks. They are tough to open, but worth it to eat.

Pointless or not, I'm bloggin away!

Blogless

I'm currently feeling like having a blog is kind of pointless. I don't really have a clear purpose, my posts are more random tidbits from my daily life and frustrations. 

Is it worth writing? How do I benefit besides having some time for forced self-reflection. 

Better yet is it worth reading? Is it entertaining, educational, or inspiring in any way?

Let me know. I could use the encouragement today.. or if you have some advice I'd love to hear it too. Or maybe just an anonymous comment of  "Hey I read your blog sometimes, don't stop" or if you feel inspired leave an anonymous comment saying "Hey these posts are boring, you should write more about.. X" 

Product Recommendation

IKEA Food Storage Set  $4.99

aka. tupperware

http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/60149673

It's not everyday that you hear someone raving about food storage. I bought this little set the other day on a whim and I am so IMPRESSED!

At first I thought man these guys are small, but now I fully realize the genius of it. Let the raves begin..

#1 Portion control! These are perfectly sized for single-servings and really help with controlling how much you eat in one sitting. There also some larger ones for keeping huge quantities in. (a 1/2 pot of stew)

#2 Less air-less spoilage-  You really want to aim for filling your containers as full as possible to minimize the amount of air in the container. With the smaller sizes even my guacamole is staying fresh!

#3 Stackable- The sizes also stack really well and fit into the bigger containers so you don't have a tupperware panic attack.

#4 Clean & Fresh-  For some reason the green lid makes me feel like I am eating healthy. I know its just trick psychology but I think it motivates me and keeps me focused on my health goals. The plastic has also remained incredibly clear even with the Spaghetti sauce test. Cloudy, stained plastic just isn't appetizing. 

#5 * Safe- According to the icons on the back of the containers; they are dish washer-safe, microwave-safe, and (SNOWFLAKE) safe.. which I assume means freezer-safe. ;-)

#6 Profitable- I bet I could have an old-school tupperware party and sell the set for $9.99!

I currently have 6 containers in use. • 1 of the horizontal large ones is holding stew leftovers • the other large one is holding pasta • 2 horizontal small ones are holding single guacamole servings • the smallest one is holding 1 serving of baked beans • the medium container is holding some mixed nuts for on-the-go. These sizes are brilliant!

Email Meltdown!

One word-- HACKED :-(

I am so upset right now. Literally tears flowing and on the night Matt and I are supposed to be celebrating our 2 yr wedding anniversary. And I know this is a silly reaction, but what happened today has unleashed a dam of emotion from many, many, many burned bridges. 

Most people know that Gmail saves EVERY contact you have ever emailed. Think about that for a moment, every job you apply for, every bad date you may have gone on, every stranger you had to email for some reason or another.. and all the ex-bosses, ex-boyfriends, ex-friends even. On top of that I had imported my contacts from every previous email account I had used. I thought no problem, I don't need to delete people I won't email.. that would take WAY to much time to go through all the hundreds of emails to sort it out.

Well today that laziness bit me in the @ss. My older gmail account was hacked into and sent spam out to EVERY ONE of my contacts. At first I thought oh well, but then it started to sink in. I just spammed all of those people that I never wanted any contact with again as well as all my friends and family that I love. I'm so embarassed, I'm mortified. On top of that, my old email account is set to send out as if it is my new email account. I consider my new email address kind of private and didn't really want people from the past knowing it. It's not like its a difficult email to figure out, but now those people know exactly what it is.

So taking a proactive approach, I decided to finally clean out my contacts and it only took 4 min. Seriously, so mad at myself! And as I went down the list I just kept thinking NO, not that person too! 

I know I'm overreacting, but just having to think about some of these people and the bad times associated with them is upsetting enough. I'm a forward focuser and always have been. I tend to be a burn the bridges type of girl. And today I had to look back and I saw the mess I left.

Enchilada Madness

I absolutely LOVE enchiladas. That and lasagna have always been my 2 favorite foods. 

So tonight I made guacamole & black bean enchiladas with green chili sauce. Yummy, yummy!

Step 1 - Make guacamole (see previous blog entry)

Step 2 - Saute white & red onion in pan with garlic (set aside)

Step 3 - Gather everything you need (Black Beans, sauteed onions, guacamole, spatula, etc..)

Step 4 - Fry corn tortilla in oil in a frying pan on the stove, flip when it starts to bubble up

Step 5 - Here is where the Madness comes in- Take out / Start another tortilla

Step 6 - While other tortilla is cooking, QUICKLY place enchilada ingredients on the cooked one and Roll without burning your fingers

Step 7 - Place all rolled enchiladas into pan as they are ready.

Step 8 - Smother with Sauce (I used green chili sauce in a can + the rest of the Black bean juice  in the can)

Step 9 - Garnish with fresh Cilantro, chives, onions whatever you got that looks pretty & is fragrant.

Step 10 - Bake at 350F for like 20-30min

As you can see my cooking is very flowy, no measuring, just a pinch of that and watch it while it does this, and smother it with some of that and that. No wonder its always hit or miss.

An out to eat weekend

4 out of the 5 Meals I ate this weekend were out of my house, and I barely survived. What's funny is that each meal got progressively more difficult to choose vegan options.

Friday was pure heAven. We went to Kalajandhjis in Dallas. It was amazing! I never knew Indian food could be so good! And the atmosphere alone is worth the trip, it's def like a small Indian palace. Our table was in the courtyard part and it was very peaceful.
http://www.kalachandjis.com/

Saturday- for lunch we met my family at Abuelos. You would think Mexican would be easy, but a quick google search warned me about all the bacon and dairy. So I chose AVacado enchiladas with steamed veggies. I asked if the enchiladas had cheese in them and the server said no. However, when I got my plate there was cheese all over the top. Matt scooped it off and on to his plate and gave me his share of guacamole. Sweet! I would recommend going with veggie Fajitas next time.

Saturday dinner was my 10yr reunion. There was absolutely nothing vegan there. Alot of meats, mashed potatoes, 2 salads w cheese and a roll. So I took my chances with the roll and picked the cheese out of the little salad I ate. No wonder that 1 drink gave me such a headache. I didn't eat much that day at all.

Side note: I have noticed I am super sensitive to alcohol, caffeine, pain medicine, and antibiotics. I can literally feel the medicines as they kick into my bloodstream. Shouldn't i be given a smaller dose if i'm smaller now?

Sunday was the ultimate vegan challenge. Texas Roadhouse! I mean they actually have a meal called Roadkill. I knew it would be hardso I googled it and decided on a side salad and sweet potato. I packed my own tub of Earth Balance butter and some salad dressing. I made sure the waitress understood that there should be no cheese in it. This time the salad came with egg all in it. So I bravely asked for another salad without. So my salad consisted of iceburg lettuce and tomatoes, good thing I had brought some onions. And good thing for the butter container too. My uncle caught a cricket on our table and placed him in the butter tub. He threw the tub in the trash on the way out. I know that's not very vegan, but I'm too scared of jumpy bugs to try to save him. I hope thecricket dies happily from eating too much vegan butter.

-- Post From My iPhone

What works. Water works.

Here is an eating strategy that I've noticed helps me to maintain my weight and avoid cravings.

Inspired by the Skinny Bitch book, vegan food pyramid & my memaw's advice awhile back. 

Whenever I stick to this order of eating I tend to lose weight and have more energy.. When I skip breakfast or go straight for a bagel then I feel more sluggish and tend to eat more that day. I really need to focus on not over-relying on the carbs.

Breakfast-- eat Fruit & Drink water (Goes through your body quick & flushes everything out ;-)

Snack-- Nuts or 2nd Breakfast (oatmeal, whole grain cereal) Water

Lunch-- Soup, Salad, and/or Veggie Sandwich  + Water

Snack-- Carrots or some other veggie snack could have more nuts if needed.. Or Multi-grain crackers with hummus/avocado + Water, Water

Dinner-- Throw in the Veggies! Need at least 2 veggies + Protein and 1 whatevah (this inevitably will end up being a carb -- crescent rolls ;-) I'm pretty sure the Great Value Walmart crescent rolls are vegan. Someone please let me know if I am wrong.

After dinner-- Water, Water, Water No late night snackies.

Ya so looking at this I think breakfast fruit and water are the key!

A list of nose

No I do not want a drink with that.

No I haven't seen Lost.

No I would not like for you to box my food for me.

No I would not like a lemon in my water.

No I did not see the game last night.

No you cannot have my number

No I seriously do not want a piece of cake

No I'm not worried about my protein intake

No I cannot have that to you by the end of the day

No you can not keep chewing on toilet paper







-- Post From My iPhone

3 months in & Goals Achieved

It's been a little over 3 months since I made the vegan switch! Here are the results so far;

Dropped 10lbs the first 6 weeks and have stayed at that same weight since despite barely exercising this last month. Overall I have noticed feeling more energized, awake, less mood swings, more "regular" & less allergies. I am still trying new foods and loving things I never would have expected loving. 

I just found a note that I wrote a year ago that says "Foods to learn to like".. I had always struggled with learning to like vegetables and becoming a vegan has forced me to try things and be totally surprised by the taste. I am so excited now looking at this list because I can check off 1/2 of them!!

Foods to Learn to Like: 

Cucumbers  √

Celery √

Radishes √

Bell Peppers √

Spinach √

Cabbage √

Eggplant √

Zucchini √

Sweet Potatoes √

Tofu √

Cauliflower √

I can't believe Onions weren't on the list! I hated them a year ago and now I add them to everything!! 

What I need to try still:

Kale

Collard Greens

Chard

Cauliflower

leeks

edamame

Honey Dew

couscous

Bulgur Wheat

Quinoa

Ostrich - X Seriously! I had that on my list a year ago ?

Why my husband is awesome

1) He acknowledges fashion genius by referring to my favorite accessory as "your Vera Wang belt" 

2) He doesn't watch sports!

3) He tells me maybe I should go shopping if I'm in a bad mood.

4) He handles the mean phone calls to the Utility companies

5) He works full-time, goes to school full-time AND takes on side jobs so we can get ahead.

6) He doesn't get angry.

7) He orders extra for me just in case I under ordered and am still hungry.

8) He is supportive of my vegan diet, and cooks his own meat to add to my dishes

9) He gets me.

10) He doesn't watch sports! (Totally worth repeating)

LOVE!

Diaper cake all-nighter

bc I thought they would be fun to make



-- Post From My iPhone

Lion hat shame

I'm only showing this knitting project bc I prepromised I would. Consider yourselves lucky.

It didn't really turn out little kid cute like I had planned. In fact, it seems more nightmare scare crowish. Do I go ahead and give this to my friend at her baby shower? Or do I save myself the embarassment of all the faked coos, "oh that's so, um, unique" or "aren't you crafty?" I just don't know if I can live with contributing to the future nightmares of my friend's unborn child.

Here it is-




U think moving the eyes and nose down will help?

Off to try to fix the 3 diaper cakes I signed up for.


-- Post From My iPhone

Vegan Egg Fail

These eggs are pissing me off--Slipping into all my food. This morning I learned that MorningStarFarms corn dogs are NOT vegan.. They have egg whites! As well as several other veggie meat products I have used of theirs. 

And then today I noticed that my Pei Wei Pad Thai leftovers have a fried egg at the bottom. UGH! So I tried eating around it some, but ended up just making myself feel sick. If you have ever had a taste aversion this is what it is like. I am no longer desensitized and now have this overwhelming feeling that I know What it is, Where it came from, and What suffering was involved to get that egg to me. I feel horrible that this baby chick did not have a life and that he is now sitting in my trash can.  

FAIL!

Kudos to Matt for not buying eggs in the past 3 months, even though that was his staple breakfast for years. 

My new goal is to cook up an emulated Vegan Breakfast- Scrambled Tofu, vegan Sausage, soy cheese, biscuits, vegan gravy, some fruit and maybe a Blueberry muffin or Banana Bread to finish the feast. 

"30 Days" Episode

What happens when a Hunter goes to stay with an Animal Rights activist for 30 days? Watch this episode to find out:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/24012/30-days-animal-rights

OMGuacamole!

Every time I eat Guacamole I think "This is the best guacamole ever!" But seriously THIS batch is the Best Guacamole ever!!

Here's my directions:

Smush up 1 big Squishy Avocado with a fork, Spray with Lime Juice, Add 1/4 of a chopped up Purple onion, Add 1/2 of a chopped white onion, 1 hand pressed garlic clove, Pour in some Salsa, & season with grated Sea Salt and fresh Ground Pepper.

The Lime and the purple (or is it red?) onion give it the most flavor. The Salsa really makes it creamy. I never really measure things so try tasting it and add things to adjust the flavor to your liking. 

A Weekend of Affirmation- Dallas to Saginaw to Wylie to Highland Village & back

This weekend was a wonderful affirmation of what I am doing and why. 

Friday- I went on a lovely double date to the famed Vegetarian restaurant in Dallas named Cosmic Cafe. We started with an Indian sampler appetizer with Nan bread and Hummus and Samosas. Yummy, yummy, yummy. I then ordered the Trinity Tacos, which were amazing and was way too much to eat. Matt ordered a pizza that had Black Bean burger crumbles and has told me several times how much he liked it. Yeah. 

Saturday- We woke up early and were off to visit Matt's parents and to introduce our doggies. This is Spencer intently studying the Texas landscape and loving the wind in his hair. The dogs met and didn't kill each other so I guess that could be a success. The good surprise for the day-- Matt's mom had planned an amazing vegan meal for me. She went to the store and got my favorite Tofutti American cheese and found some Black bean tamales and refried beans. I had an enormous plate complete with guacamole. It didn't stop there either. She had a special desert just for me- a vegan brownie with Rice Dreams Ice cream. Oh ya and cantaloupe. I was truly astonished. I haven't expected anyone to accommodate me but she did without me even asking. Thanks 2nd mom! I'm soooooo lucky. 

I'm realizing now that for the most part everyone is very accepting and does not try to convince me to eat differently. I think it helps that I do not try to change what others eat. Mutual respect is key. If someone asks then I will be happy to share what I have learned. The blog will remain my vegan outlet- the one place I can share with everybody and nobody all at the same time. Alot like leaving your diary in the lunchroom as a kid--it never happened to me, but I am very familiar now with that uneasy feeling. 

Sunday- was supposed to be my official Leesha Crocker day. I was going to clean the whole house, do all the laundry, grocery shop, and cook meals for the whole week. Instead, Spencer and I rode off to Wylie, Tx to visit with my parents and grandparents. We drove in my grandpa's antique WWII jeep to the marina and then Spencer got to go on his 1st ever Boat Ride! He was really enjoying it and spent the whole time with his head over the edge looking at the water. 

Spencer is my biggest affirmation of why I am doing this. I can tell when he is sad, lonely, excited or bored. He eagerly greets us in the morning and when we come home after work, with exuberant tail wags and hugs. He also yelps when he is in pain and barks when he is scared. I believe that animals are more like us humans then we want to believe. No they don't talk or think deeply about their finances; but they have emotions and the ability to feel pain both physically and emotionally. I often look at Spencer and wonder how a pig or cow or chicken could be that much different. They also cry out when in pain and express emotion in their actions. They too are SENTIENT- living, conscious, & aware. 

My grandma also told me that when she was growing up on the farm they hardly ever ate meat because they couldn't afford it. She said they had beans and vegetables at almsot every meal and then said "Maybe that's why we were so healthy" In her days obesity, cancer, and heart disease were rare. I told her that I am pretty much eating how she grew up eating- Fruits + Veggies + breads + nuts + water. They all have the vital nutrients we need to survive. 

Monday- A quick snippet-- At my early morning photo shoot- took a step backwards while looking through the camera to get the perfect shot--AND walked right off of someone's driveway and fell into this concrete ditch, camera gear and all. Everyone rushed to help me and were deeply concerned.. they were even having me bend my arms and make sure I didn't break anything. It was truly embarrassing, but so typical of me. I ended up with a scratch on my elbow, a cut on my pinky toe, a headache & wet, muddy clothes. Thats it!

I got home and started thinking about how many people break their ankles or wrists during normal falls. I consider this a reaffirmation that I am healthy & strong. With my girliest cheerleader cheer !Go vegan! 

A Lion King baby hat

I have yet to successfully photograph any of my knitting, so I'm doing a pre-emptive post as a promise to show you this one when it is finished. 

I just started a baby hat that looks like a lion. It's so cute with 2 ears on top and a furry mane. I can't wait to show you. Right now it's just a ball of golden yarn and a 12" circular needle. Cast on 48 stitches and knit to 4-1/2"Ready-Set-Go! No crazy pattern required. (Just decrease for 12 rounds, add mane, ears, eyes, and nose)

I had 2 skeins of $7 yarn in my hand and thought I better check out the back of the store where the clearance was at and there were 2 skeins of almost the exact color (different brand) for just 99¢ each! Yeah, what luck!

I'm also going to make some matching booties with mane-like yarn sticking out at the top. 

I'm so giddy thinking about how cute this is going to be..

You know on Arrested Development when Lucille's private detective (Gene Parmesan) surprises her and she very giddily squeals "Gene!" Well, 2 things have done that for me lately-- finding the perfect baby knitting project/yarn AND finding vegan chocolate. (You will find me literally squealing in the aisle!)

2 Diets live as 1

These are true "Leesha Crocker" meals. I know now that it is the vegan versions of "normal" food that I love best. The meat analogs and weirder foods just don't work out as well, but I'm sure it is just something I have to get used to.

This was that amazing double date Pizza Feast I mentioned previously. Mine is the one in the back that's cheeseless. I added Broccolini + grilled eggplant + onions + mushrooms + black olives + Pineapple. We also made some Capellini Pomodoro pasta from scratch. Check out Olive Garden's website for the recipe. YUMMY!

My Veggie Burger plate includes: Open-faced veggie burger with Tofutti American Cheese, romaine lettuce, onions, avocado slices, pickles, mustard and tomato. Oven Fries and vegetarian baked beans on the side. With some strawberries for dessert. I felt so NORMAL eating this meal. It's nice to be normal every now and then. I could only eat 1 of these burgers, and I had originally intended to make it a double stack burger.

Matt and I customized our own Thai dinners during our THAI NIGHT. I boiled some Thai noodles and added onions, mushrooms, chives, and sesame seed to mine. Matt added shrimp and sun dried tomatoes with sesame seeds to his. We tried Sea weed for the first time and it was very tasty, but then I noticed it had HFCS (high fructose corn syrup) in it! I don't understand why they would do that to such a nutritious food. Note: The Sunkist is not mine.

I love white bowls and plates

so clean, so crisp

the food readily awaits.

A New age of Thrift

In honor of my friend's fabulous blog ( http://thedebtfreelife.blogspot.com/  ) I am posting some ideas I just thought of for how to SAVE.. and believe me switching to a vegan diet is a little pricy at first. Eventually I will be all stocked up with the pantry essentials to be able to live healthily within a reasonable grocery budget. But in the meantime I am still searching the aisles for things like Arrowroot, Buckwheat, millet, and seitan. New produce I used to never buy includes eggplant, tamarind, fresh tomatoes, celery, red onion, tofu, zucchini, cantaloupe, & fresh herbs.

I figure the price increase is a viable trade off for the increased health benefits. 

OK, some ways to SAVE:

1. Never Buy Media again- Seriously, so much gets wasted on this pursuit. 

• Listen to music for free on pandora.com

• Listen to & Watch Free podcasts on iTunes.

• Share music/movies/books with friends (the good old fashioned, legal way)

• Go to the Library! Its fun when you take home 12 books and 2 movies for free!

• Shop Amazon- Why buy a book for full price when you can pay $3 or so?

• Watch TV on hulu.com or similar site-- Never pay for cable again. We seriously don't have a tv plugged in at our house and don't have a cable bill.

2. Check Craigslist! So far I have bought a great used car, found an independent caterer for my wedding, hired a stylists for my wedding updo, sold furniture, notified the public of a garage sale, & found contract design jobs for my husband and I on Craigslist. Not to mention some laughs at reading the rants and raves.

3. DIY or don't.. DIY projects are all the hype right now but when we painted our entire house we spent almost half of the quote in buying all the materials and tools we didn't have, not to mention the entire week we took off of work. If I could go back I would find some experienced, independent contractors (yes craigslist) to "help us" and pay them an hourly rate..

4. Watch the hobbies- This is the advice I'm giving to myself and have yet to follow..Stick to 1 project at a time! Look for coupons from Michaels and sign up for emails at your favorite craft store. 

5. The Art of Re-gifting & stock-piling- Thats right, this is quite taboo but alot of Americans are already doing this and saving alot of $$. We currently have a big box of "gifts" ready to go at any moment. Some of these are gifts we are given directly and don't know what to do with, but mostly are stockpiled from things given to us from work or items we buy when we catch great deals on clearance. I recently found something I was given years ago that I never used and can't wait to give it to someone I have in mind who will love it.  

6. Do the Un-Popular- I've been a mad woman searching for all the vegan specialties at the grocery store and recently went to my nearby run-down Kroger. Turns out in this poorer area it is not popular to be vegan! Great for me because almost everything is being put to Clearance and still has several weeks left of shelf life. Yippee! Look for ways to apply this logic in your life too. 

7. The near Free Date- It seems like I can never get enough alone time with my husband.. and when we do have time, we don't have money to go "out." So these are some of our free dates we have done in the past:

• Walk (or run) in the Park

• Go Swimming- find a friend or nearby apartment to sneak into ;-) (Helps if you run to the apartment complex, then it doesn't look fishy when you get out of your car)

• Play a new game together

• Go to Barnes & Noble and look at magazines

• Look for Free festivals, concerts, & events

• Go to the Farmers Market

• Cook an adventurous meal together

• Do a double date! (We recently did this and each made our own custom pizza. Tons of Fun!)

  • Spontaneous Road Trip- We once drove 3 hours in search of Water Falls, we ended up finding several waterfalls, a lake to swim in, & some crazy kite flyers. 

8. Reduce, Re-use, Recycle- I've started to look for ways to re-use some common everyday things. GLASS JARS can become vases, food storage, pantry containers, candle holders, future gift holders. BOXES can be "wrapped" to be used for office supplies like those expensive Container Store boxes. I currently save all my gift bags and tissue paper I am given. Gift Cards can be reused by cutting the cover off and gluing it to construction paper.. add your own creativity to it.  Clothes can be swapped with some friends. Sweater arms can become leg warmers. I wasn't sure what to do with Aluminum cans, but here is a link: http://www.aluminouspublishing.com/index.php

Any more ideas for re-using things?

9. Don't wear makeup when your home alone- I do this just because I'm lazy, but think of all the money I'm saving!

The Perfect Wife

Ha, this is what YearbookYourself.com did to me! This pic made me think about my previous post about having a Good Cook Personality that comes and goes. I thought this is what she would look like. Leesha Crocker!

I'm really struggling lately to be "the perfect wife". Laundry and dishes are taking over and my desk is stacked 1ft high. My whole life has turned upside down. Food is the core of life and when you make a change to what and how you eat, you really have to reprogram your life. I have recipes everywhere, cookbooks, and notes.. I'm constantly listening to podcasts and soaking up articles and videos. With this new constant learning I am really falling behind on all the things I normally do around the house. 

My husband currently works full time and goes to school full time. In the few hours he is at home I know he would love to have a yummy meal ready for him. And I- eagerly hoping to make something he might like, offer oven-friend Polenta Fries and roasted Eggplant. Yuck for him! It is getting very hard to balance what a strict vegetarian eats with what an omnivore expects to eat. I know that his "love language" is Acts of Service, especially food.. and I feel I am failing. 

On that note, I am reminded of the nearly impossible advice printed in Home-Ec textbooks in 1954, called "How to be a Good Wife". (I'm just wondering what manual the men were given with advice on How to be a good husband.. )

Ok, ladies, here's what the textbooks say: 

"Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal, on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

 

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so that you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

 

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the home just before your husband arrives, gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.

 

Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

 

Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad he is home.

 

Some don'ts: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he is late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

 

Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

 

Make the evening his. Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.

 

The Goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit."

 

Interestingly, I KNOW he would love these to happen.. my high-tech, open-minded, free-thinking, inventor and artist husband still wants a prepared meal, from a happy, pretty wife with no worries. Looks like much hasn't changed in the last 25 years of American society, and maybe there is a place for such advice.. with a grain of salt. (In my most sarcastic tone possible, "I think I'll try putting a ribbon in my hair")