Knitted handbag-Trial, error, and success

This knitted bag was suppose to be a big circle shape with 2 circle pieces that would be sewed together and I mistakenly over-increased and it had these 2 boobie shapes. So I played around with it for awhile and realized it could work as 1 piece in this shape above. Can't believe my mistake turned into such a cool piece. AND I figured out how to knit onto the handles.. it was more of a crochet technique I think.

I'm trying to decide if I want to pin the top edges in to make it this shape. I also want to add a lining and an interior pocket. I need to find a pretty silky like fabric.. and then figure out how to sew. Trial and error eventually lead to success.

Flop

Ha! This is the funniest thing I have knitted. I was trying for a soft Cowl that could be used like a scarf to keep the neck warm.. you know like those droopy cowls that are usually attached to sweaters. 

I don't know what happened.. I think I just knitted it too tight. I might try again with a larger needle and thinner yarn. It just doesn't drape right. 

Matt and I had alot of fun figuring out different uses for it. Hee hee, still laughing.. 

Redemption

I'm a stress eater, a bored eater, you name it. I emotionally eat. And lately I have been super stressed worrying about the longevity of my job. The kind of worrying that feels like an earthquake is coming.. and I want comfort food!

The last couple of days have suddenly become the most difficult in this whole time of living veg. I feel so incredibly guilty for even having the thought.. so softly in my head.. the thought of eating a Chic-Fil-a sandwich. And then the whispered thought gets louder, like seriously I want a ....! At this moment I'm typing this I still can't believe I even struggled with that thought and its gross to me.. at this moment. Sitting by the fire, listening to some new music Matt got - "For Tet"- I'm not stressed at this moment and can think clearly. 

Why is it Chic-fil-a? Why am I admitting that thought to anyone? The first time I faced this temptation Matt talked me out of it.. This time I made it all the way into the drive-thru line and then ordered a salad no meat, no cheese and a side of waffle fries. I was proud that I conquered that temptation, but then at dinner that night with Matt I actually ordered fish tacos AND ate 1. I don't know what to think about it. The taste definitely was not worth it. Why do fish not hold a place in my heart? Do I have a compassionate preference for mammals over birds and fish? Maybe.

I thought giving in that once would put the end to it, but then this morning I woke up with the craving for Chic-Fil-a breakfast sandwiches. What's wrong with me? I think Chic-Fil-a needs to market their spices so I can fry some tofu or seitan and be done with it.

Today was a whirlwind of vegan doubt, and my mind was blank for why I was doing this, could I really do this forever? .. AND THEN...

I checked the mail! I opened my blood lab work results and was completely shocked! All of my levels are now NORMAL! OMG! I know this doesn't mean much to you who are reading this right now. But to me it means the world. It means the chance to have children naturally with no need for drugs. It means my diet really has cured my PCOS. A year ago my levels were all over the place and out of all the normal limits. And today I know why I am doing what I am doing. 

Today I have new meaning behind my commitment.

Yeah!

thoughts on traveling

They say you only live once, but how do you balance life enjoyment with life responsibilities?

I LOVE to travel, but really have not experienced much. When I have the money I don't have the time and when I have the time I don't have the money. Isn't that how it always is?

Matt and I want to do alot of traveling before we have kids, but I really don't know how to make it happen. First off, I can't even take a day off at my job without having to work overtime the day before or after to keep up. I can't imagine ever taking a week off... And we've always had to work around Matt's semester schedule.. I had this problem at my last job as well when I tried to schedule my honeymoon in the winter between semesters but my job would not allow it. So instead Matt failed his classes that semester we got married.. Its just really impossible to take a week and a half off in studio courses. We loved our honeymoon and it was so worth it. But even then we didn't pay for that trip..so how do you save up?

We want to go 1) skiing in Colorado 2) to London 3) Canada 4) I want to go somewhere in the Carribean 5) Italy 6) actually pretty much all of Europe

I started a Savings account with SmartyPig.com (which is how we saved for our house) and set it to save $25/month (LOL), but with the thought that I would add to it whenever we have extra cash. I guess we haven't had any. 

So now Matt is graduating and I have always wanted to reward him with us going to Europe or at least on a ski trip. There is just no way. Unless something changes our budget will always be tight, my job will always be too stressful to take time off, and I feel like we should pay off loans before we start saving up for unnecessary vacations. 

Thinking back to "vacationers"--isn't the typical traveler the older, retired couple or the young singles? Did we miss our time? For how long and how much do you have to sacrifice and juggle around just to enjoy 1 week in your life? 

Cruelty-Free Hair Care

Loreal now has a new line of hair care products that are 100% vegan and cruelty-free. 

Yesterday, I purchased the Smooth Shampoo, Smooth Conditioner and the small tub that is a deep conditioning mask.

They are amazing!

The shampoo was incredibly frothy and foamed up more than every shampoo I own. The deep conditioner made my hair soft and silky. Finally, hair care that does what it is supposed to! This was a real exciting find. 

So here is the delimma. I started researching Loreal and they do animal testing in almost all their other lines of product. So by purchasing the EverPure line I am indirectly contributing to the testing of animals. OR should I think of it as by purchasing these products I am proving to Loreal that there is a market for cruelty-free, vegan products. Hopefully they will make the switch in more of their product lines.

My hair feels so good!

Next Phase- Products

According to Wikipedia (my reference for everything) the definition of a Vegan is=

"Veganism is a diet and lifestyle that seeks to exclude the use of animals for food, clothing, or any other purpose.^[1][2] Vegans endeavor not to use or consume animal products of any kind.^[3] The most common reasons for becoming a vegan are ethical commitment or moral conviction concerning animal rights orwelfare, the environment, human health, and spiritual or religious concerns.^[2][4][5] Of particular concern to many vegans are the practices involved in factory farming and animal testing, and the intensive use of land and other resources for animal farming."

I feel pretty comfortable now with the diet aspect. I have finally got the balance down of eating carbs-protein-fruits-veggies. Real quickly I discovered how easy it was to eat just yummy carb snacks. The whole point is to be healthy though, so I've really focused on getting enough fruits and veggies, and take my vitamins. Why are they so BIG! 

I feel ready now to take on the next challenge of purging out all PRODUCTS that contribute to animal suffering or contain toxins. After seeing the video "Earthlings" it is undeniable that the clothing and beauty industries greatly attribute to animal suffering. And why be a part of it if you don't have to be?

Here is a list of the items I want to find a replacement for:

• Yarn- no wool or silk, choose cotton, bamboo, hemp, soy silk, banana silk

• Soap

• Shampoo/Conditioner- try Alba, Giovanni, 365, Jason

• Face Wash- Origins

• Moisturizer- try Kiss my Face, Origins

• Foundation- I've used the same foundation for the last 13 years, so this will be a tough one.

• Chapstick- try Alba

• mascara- try Beauty without Cruelty or Lush

• eye liner- try Arbonne or Origins

• sunscreen- try Arbonne or Origins

• deodorant- 365

• Clothing- I actually don't own any leather clothes and only itchy wool sweater that I will just donate.

• Shoes- This is a tough one.. I went shoe shopping awhile back and could not find what the shoes are made of. There is no "ingredient list" and I keep thinking it could be really good pleather, or some kind of plastic, or maybe it is leather.. I don't know. So I haven't bought a new pair of shoes in 6 months and it is time to figure this out. I'm in desperate need of some black low heels for work. I may just order these online from a vegan site just to be sure.

I already switched my toothpaste to Toms and I finally found a flavor I like. I am probably going to focus on a few products at a time so I don't spend too much money at one time. Let me know if you have any vegan products that you love. 

These are a few brands I want to try: Whole Foods brand, Kiss my Face, Beauty without Cruelty, Jason shampoos, Avalon, Alba, Giovanni shampoos, Lush makeup, Origins, Arbonne makeup. Walmart carries a few brands as well as Kroger, Whole Foods, Central Market, and Sprouts.

I hope to meet this goal by the end of the next 6 months. That seems doable to me. It will be fun trying new stuff! These are the kind of things I don't usually let myself spend alot of money on so it will be interesting balancing frugality with quality. I hope that I will find some great substitutes and maybe even some better ones! I'll make sure to share my faves.

The Details

Half a year! I've been on a vegan diet for half a year. Woohoo! 

It's so 2nd nature to me that I don't have to worry or think about it much now. I have pretty much perfected avoiding animal products in food. And then today, I fell into a non vegan situation. I was cooking my lunchtime soup in the kitchen with my coworker when I noticed that this particular soup had egg in the pasta. Normally, I would have just thrown it out and gone to get something else.. but I haven't admitted my veganism to my coworkers, so I had no reason to do so.. I was trapped. So here I am holding this bowl of soup and getting grossed out at the thought of chicken reproductive products in my soup.... and I went back to my desk and ate around the pasta in the soup. 

I'm not going to beat myself up about it, but I need to come clean at work, for my own sake. And I hope it will be soon.. but then I think is it really worth it? It's such a personal decision in my life I don't feel like being confronted about it when I can't argue back. 

So its the details that get me, every time. Like the Morning Star Farms corny dogs that I thought for sure were vegan and blogged about them. How embarrassing! And then I missed the note about eggs in the Quorn brand mock meats too. And there was that time that I had jello, another time I had honey, and probably some times when I thought for sure it was vegan and it wasn't. 

It's not about being perfect. It's about filtering out the unnecessary suffering, the unhealthy, and the disease causing waste in my life. I'm also trying to avoid high fructose corn syrup, aspartame, caffeine, and other toxins.

However, I do feel that once you make allowances for yourself then those allowances start to grow and take over. Isn't that how all diets fail? So perfection is what I strive for but the ultimate goal is to do the best I can to be healthy, to be cruelty-free, and to be good about every decision I make in life.  If that is my goal and Im doing my best then I am happy with myself.